I was thinking about Judas, a man who had the privilege of walking with Jesus on the earth. I was wondering, did Jesus make a mistake on picking Judas? No, for he picked all his 12 disciples after a quiet night and communion with His Father. Judas was surely in God’s plan to be among the chosen 12. That’s something to be grasped; though the scriptures had prophesied about the betrayal; Judas was never set aside. He was chosen. How different is that?
I don’t know how he first heard about Jesus; maybe he went out with his friends to hear a strange man baptising by the river Jordan and yelling out “There is one coming after me whose sandals I’m unworthy to untie”. May be someone told him “Come & see the one Isaiah was talking about”.
Judas never seemed to be in the limelight; kept low profile. After all, he never asked for positions unlike the sons of Zebedee. Our churches would have had a tug of war to make him a member. I can imagine him getting the membership form straight away, had he been here now. He was never like Peter. Nor did he speak words of fear or doubt like Thomas. He was never in the “check & go” mould sort of people. He too like the rest had left his dear and near ones to be with the Lord. Was he like John and James whose family was around? Did he have a mother in law? No one knows now, but he was willing to pay a price.
There was no dearth in any signs & wonders, for he saw it all. The healing, shrieking demons, 5000 being filled, dead raised up, eyes opened and many more. Remember he even stood on the boat as the winds were silenced.
In those corners of the synagogues he should have heard Jesus preaching & teaching. The golden quotes of Jesus “for God so loved the world” must have rung a bell in his ear. He should have missed his breath when he heard Jesus saying “my Father”. Till yesterday for him & people around, God was just trembling and fear.
One day Jesus gives him a bag probably saying “Judas, take care of the money. Im entrusting you with this”.
Judas then sees the money coming in. The disciple John later calls him “thief” and that he was stealing from that very bag. So then surely a different love had come onto him; a love for this world and the things in this world. His flesh had begun his lust drive for money.
One day he should have heard Jesus saying “for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” Did our Lord look at him in the eye when he said that? I’m not sure but then if he did; I’m not surprised for he knew each heart.
Another day at Bethany he sees a strange sight of a woman breaking an alabaster box of perfume and using tears to wipe his feet. Oh, why is this money being wasted or why not it be given to the poor? What is this lady doing? Or at least why not put it in this bag? Though his mouth spoke these words, what actually was his soul speaking? May be he spoke, “that’s my treasure, how can she throw it away like that”?
By now his desire for money had choked all the word Jesus had ministered to him. He rushed off from the passover room and walked to the wolves’ lair; where the conspiracy was being hatched. Though he had left behind the bag; the wolves gave him a barter: thirty silver coins for a kiss. Judas took the bait.
What would have echoed in his ears as he made his way to that lair? His intimacy for money had overtaken any love left for his master. I can even see that his feet would have been quick to sin. No, I think he even refused to think what Jesus had just said about the cup and the wine.
Some days later after Jesus died, remorse took him over. Condemnation filled him. He went and threw away the silver coins at those who had enticed him. Again as he made his way to get the rope; what would have he thought. In the midst of all his condemnation, didn’t he even think for a second what Jesus had said “I hate sin but I love the sinner”? Or maybe he even forgot the parable of the lost son.
He had no treasure left as he had already thrown away the 30 silver coin treasure. In the absence of a treasure, he probably didn’t find a purpose to live. He lived for his treasure and he died because of it.
Let’s now think where our heart is; because where our heart is, there our treasure lies. If the treasure is right then we will live by it and for it. God is that good treasure and in this good treasure is his life.